Guest Post: Plate Spinning 101

I’m sure you've seen them: plate spinners. Usually part of a comedy or circus act, the star of the show gets plates, bowls, and other assorted round things spinning on poles or sticks. As inertia flags and the plates start wobbling, he must run from pole to pole, re-spinning the plates. At some point, it often becomes an effort in fruitlessness, and the plates crash to the ground.

Photo by Melissa

So it can be with homeschooling, particularly when combined with the everyday juggling act of keeping the balls of home, marriage, friends, extended family, and, in some cases, a part-time or full-time job, in the air. At first, you flounder, then you may get into a groove of keeping your plates spinning. After a while, though, if you have too many plates going at once, you may feel as though you’re running from pole to pole, frantically trying to keep everything going lest it all crash down around you.

As a homeschooling mom with a home to care for, a husband to keep happy, a circle of friends, family living out of state, and a growing writing career, I often find that my plates are precariously in danger of breaking. It is during those times that I’m often tempted to just throw my hands in the air and give up. But it’s also during those times that I am most able to re-assess my priorities and decide what plates I might want to retire on a temporary basis. It’s a matter of survival!

During different seasons of life, you may choose to gracefully put aside different things. When my kids were very little, for example, I did not even attempt any sort of paid work, in or outside the home. Sure, we really could have used the money, but I recognized my own limitations in this area. As they grew, I’ve had to choose to put aside close relationships with friends, “me” time, and, recently, even homeschooling. Necessity has thrust me back into the role of “homeschooling mom,” though, and I’m currently trying to re-assess once again. What’s most important? What plates can I take down without negatively impacting my family, my friends, my work, myself? I can’t be superwoman and do it all... believe me, I’ve tried!

So, here’s what’s working for me, right now, at this point in time. It might change in a month or two months or a year... but for right this very second, I feel okay about what I’m doing:

• As far as homeschooling goes, we’re allowing the kids to continue on a child-led path. We’re not radical (nor rabid!) unschoolers by any means, but we do let them pursue their interests whenever possible. Right now, I’m encouraging them to read each day, and they have a computerized math program that they can work on when they want to, or when I tell them to (a couple of times per week). Science, history, art, and writing are all being done on their own volition. Is this something that I want to continue for the long term? Probably not. But for right now, in this period of transitioning back to homeschooling from a stint in a small charter school, it’s working out okay.

• I’m working several hours per day from home. It’s not ideal, and I much preferred working while the kids were occupied and in school, but it’s gotta be done. I’m putting in some time in the evenings and on the weekends, but the bulk is getting done while the kids are here. Long term plan? Not sure... but probably not exactly what we’re doing.

• I’m really enjoying having “bigger” kids. At 8 and nearly 11, they’re fine sleeping over at a friend’s house on occasion, so mom and dad can have some time alone. They’re also happy to spend an occasional evening with dad so mom can go out on her own or with friends. This is something that I didn't have for many years, and I’m thrilled to be able to be out and about without my tagalongs sometimes.

Over the years, my season of life has changed, and I’m no longer in mom-of-little-ones phase. In some ways, this means that I've gained even more plates to spin, but other plates (such as the nursing, diaper-changing, constant-vigilance-over-a-preschooler, and clingy-little-one-on-my-leg varieties of dinnerware) have disappeared. For all of it, I’m thankful!

No matter where you find yourself in your act of plate-spinning, remember that this too shall pass. Also, remember that there are only so many plates that you can keep going at once. No guilt, mama! We all just do the best we can with what we've got. One day, you will look back on this act of comedy and laugh at the good times... that’s what I keep telling myself!